Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Wake The Dead

So, Yeah, it has been a while. Sorry Guys..

I tend to fall in and out of my blogs, but hey, at least I came back to this one, and didnt go off into wonderland and create a new one! heh.

Anyway. So, I have been in my "I dont know where I belong" funk for a few months now, and let me tell you, the giant abyss keeps getting bigger. I undertake a ton of stress and pressure from almost everyone around me. My parents mostly. I'm not sure why, but its like no matter what I am doing, it is not pleasing. I went to college, and have graduated (kinda), I live on my own (with derek) and Im not starving to death...I recently moved into a townhome, and take care of  2 dogs and a cat...But hellllooo, the economy = blows ass. I dont even like waking up in the morning and knowing I have to go slave away in a kitchen. I am an artist, and I want to stay an artist. Its what I am good at. I dream of opening my own bakery, but its impossible to find a job in one right now, so okay, I have two jobs that dont have anything to do with baking, but at least I have two jobs, (that I have a lot of fun at) rather than sitting around waiting for a magical job to pop up. It just dosent happen like that. I have a friend who is an amazing actor, when to school for it in NYC, but works two jobs, one with me, and another at McDonalds. I have a friend who is an insane artist and has a degree in it, but works with me at the haunted house, and at a miniature golf course. Its just the way the world is. Sorry mom & dad, I am only 20 years can not expect me to have some amazing career already in place, so please stop pressuring me to. I mean, my mom didnt go to college until she was in her late 20's or 30's, and my dad has a degree in history, and has never had a job that has anything to do with history. I have my degree, sorry Im just trying to survive in the world rather than living in the gutter and having a "career".

bah. I have a list of things I want to do...I want to get engaged, I want to travel Europe (even backpacking) , I want to get more tattoos, I want to successful sell my photos in a craft fair, I want to open my own bakery... the  list goes on and on.
We all want things, and as kids our parents tell us that we can do whatever we want...Well, no, we cant. The world likes to get in your face and remind you that everything costs money, and no one is just going to give you the money it takes to do things. So you spend your time at shitty little jobs like a haunted house, or a doggie day care, to make the money it takes to do these things.

So, dearly demented monkey on back, please
Get the fuck off.


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